Monthly Archives: September 2012

Oh No They Didn't!!!

Alert! Alert!  Kellan Kyle’s Been Kidnapped!

We’re meeting Griffin at The Verizon Amphitheatre  in St Louis, Missouri

 Griffin gets Kellan to the car by asking him if he’ll go for a couple of drinks with him to wind down after their show………they’re heading out to the parking lot where they see Lori and Sam.

 

Kellan :           “Hey ladies.  Lori, good to see you again.  What are you doing here?”

 Lori:                “Good to see you too Kellan.  Nothing much, what are y’all up to?”

Sam:                “Well Kellan Kyle, aren’t you just all kinds of hotness in the flesh – I could just  eat him with a spoon!”

 Kellan:            “Ummm thanks Sam, Griff and I are just heading out for a couple of drinks”

 Griffin:            “Actually num nuts there’s been a slight change of plan”

Kellan sees what he thinks is his Chevelle in the parking lot – we’ve managed to get an exact replica of his baby – he’s not gonna be happy!!!

Kellan:            “What the??!!  Griffin, what the FUCK  is my Chevelle doing here?”

They get to the car – Kellan is  freaking OUT!
 

Griffin:            “We had it shipped from Seattle.  Thought you’d be missing it.”

 Kellan:            “She was all locked up tight, what the fuck were you thinking Griff?”

 Griffin:            “Quit your boo hooing and get in the car so we can go” (*winks at Lori*)

 Sam:               “Okay but before you go, can I give you a hug?”

Kellan walks towards Sam to give her a hug as she stumbles back and falls on her bottom.

Griffin trips Kellan who falls on top of Sam.  

As he tries to gain some ground to get himself up Lori and Griffin each grab and arm and pull it behind his back  and handcuff him
 Kellan:           “What the fuck?”  (*glares at Griffin who is laughing his ass off*).

 Griffin:            “Pink fluffy handcuffs – hahaha  they’re  just right for ol’ boo hoo here!”

 Sam :              “I knew this was a bad idea because I didn’t get my fucking hug, at least he landed on top of me though – quick Lori,  get a picture….that will drive Jenny  crazy!” (*Lori and Sam are giggling just thinking about Jenny’s reaction*)

 Lori:                “Kellan will you hold still for like 5 seconds so I can take this picture”

 Sam:                “Pink fluffy handcuffs look hot on him.  Kell you make everything hot”

We walk him over to the car while he struggles and when he sees who is in the back seat he stops……

Kellan:           “Why the hell are there 3 blow up dolls in the back of my car”

Lori and Sam (*yell at the same time*)   “Those are NOT blow up dolls… those are our friends!”

 Griffin:            “Fuck yeah, it’s an orgy.”

 Kellan:             “None of you are driving my baby”

 Griffin:            “Kell, grow some balls…besides, they’ll try and be gentle with her – can’t promise though”

 Kellan             “No fucking way, are any of you driving the Chevelle.  Not happening.”

 Lori:                “I say we just knock him out and then Sam can take advantage of him.”

Sam:                “Lori I’d want Kellan conscious if I were take advantage of him, but you know I can’t because Jenny would kill me.”

 Kellan:            There is no way any of you are driving my fuckin’ car!

 Griffin:        “Shut it Kell or we’ll have to knock you out”

 Kellan             “You know you’ll pay for this Griff!”

 Lori:                “Okay!   I’ll drive first and Sam can take over when she’s finished fondling  *ahem, sorry Jenny* gawping at  Kellan – but first I need to give Griff a kiss goodbye….you know…to thank him properly and all that.  (*winks at Sam and Kellan*)  (*gives Griffin a huge kiss*)

Kellan & Sam both start coughing


Griffin
:            “Wow, Lori, didn’t expect you to use tongue, but the Hulk and I liked it”.

 Lori:                “Glad you liked it as much as me my little Hulkmeister, thank for your help and I’ll no doubt see you soon, if you know what I mean”

 Kellan:            “Tell Kiera I’ll see her………ummmm when will I be back by the way?

 Griffin:            “Don’t worry, I’ll explain to the old ball and chain where you are.  Can’t wait to see the look on her face”

 Kellan:            “Kiera will have your balls for this Griff”

 Lori:                “She’ll understand when I explain it’s for Jenny – I think they formed a bond. She’ll be cool”

 Griffin:            “Have fun with Mr Buzzkill there.  I would’ve been much more fun that fuckin’ buzz kill”

 Lori:                (*gives Griff another squeeze*) “I know you would be, but I have to do this for  Jenny so she will finally quit pestering me about how I took advantage of my  hugs and she didn’t get the chance.  I’ll come kidnap you soon, unless you want to meet us in Chicago – I have spare handcuffs?” (*Plants another kiss on Griff before he can say anything and then walks away*)
We all get in the car – Kellan is going out of his mind about us driving his baby – if only he knew

Lori calls Jenny to tell her the good news.

Lori:             “Guess who we have in the car?”

 Jenny:             “Knowing you Lori, it could be anyone………surprise me”

 Sam:                (*Yells out*)  “You’ll never in a million years guess”

 Jenny:             (*Jokes and laughs*  ) “Kellan Kyle?”

 Lori                 “How the hell did you know?….wow!  Your Kellan alarm is better than I thought.”

 Jenny:             “Wait!!!  What!!!?   What do you mean?”

 Lori                  “We kidnapped Kellan.  We’re bringing him to Chicago so you can grope him. You know you’ve never gotten over the fact you didn’t get to do it in that interview, well we’re gonna set things right”

 Jenny:             “You mean you really have Kellan…….OMG! Oh my freaking god!!  Lori I  could kiss you!  I mean….ARE YOU CRAZY?  You can’t just kidnap someone!!!  Is he okay?”

 Lori                 “Yeah, he’s just a little tied up at the moment” (Lori and Sam giggle)

 Jenny              “Okay, I’ll be here…..waiting….omg! I can’t believe you did that! For me! Look  after him won’t you – keep that Sam away from him…I know she lusts after him in private, my Kellan alarm can sense it and she knows he’s mine!”

 Lori:                “You know I will babycakes… rest easy I will get your precious Kellan AND his baby to you in one piece”.

 Jenny:             “His baby?  Lori, tell me you didn’t get the Chevelle too.  He will do his nut!”.

 Lori:                (*snorts*  “I love that saying!  I had to make this as authentic as possible for you. Not only are you going to ride Kellan but you’ll get a ride in his baby too”    (makes eye contact with Kellan and winks as he glares at her*)

 Jenny:              “I love you!  Be safe and treat Kellan and his baby well or else.”

 Lori:                (turns the key the wrong way and the noise is awful)  “Whoops, sorry about that Kellan”  (if only he knew!)

 Kellan:            “I think I’m having a heart attack”

 Sam:                “Go a little easy on the car there Lori, old Kell here looks a bit green”

 Kellan:            “Thank you Sam, I could kiss you for that comment”

 Sam:                “Please do”

Kellan:            “It was just an expression Sam”

Sam:                “Damn – I will never give up trying hot stuff”

Lori:                (*Rolls her eyes*)” Okay fine, I’ll go easy on his baby” (Puts it in gear and squeals the tires out of the parking lot)

Kellan:            “Oh fuck Lori, you’re killing me here.  Couldn’t we just go by bus? I’ll go quietly.”

Sam:                “Sorry Kellan, I’m kinda liking seeing you all ‘cuffed up!!  Wow Lori, it sort of sucks that we’re such good friends with Jenny cause I really want to take  advantage of disadvantaged Kellan if you know what I mean”

Lori:                “Oh I get ya buttercup, you’re only human.  Go on, cop a quick feel while you can…..Jenny and Kiera will never know..what goes on tour and all that”.

Sam:                “Yeah, besides Jenny is going to get her reward when we get to Chicago – it only feels right that I shouldn’t miss out.  And you’re right, she’ll never know!”

Lori                 “Good thing she’s in Chicago waiting for us and her Kellan alarm is switched off.”

(Lori’s cell starts playing Milkshake by Kelis)

 

Jenny:             “You so much as touch one JF hair on Kellan’s head and I will hurt you both!   I mean it!!”

Lori:                “Damn, she hung up before I could tell her to go grab a Vodka so she can relax for the next 5 hours”

Sam:                “Are you serious?  That was Jenny?”

Lori:                “Yep, she was warning us off touching Kellan. Shoot I think she really DOES have a Kellan alarm”

Sam:                “What in the ham fat?!  How did she know!   We’ve gotta do something about that Kellan alarm.”

Lori:                “We better introduce you to our friends Kellan.  Meet Luscious Leanne, Ho-larious Mollie and Generous Gitte.  We’re taking them on a road trip to meet Jenny in Chicago”

Kellan             “Lori, they’re blow up dolls”

Sam:                “Shhhh, they’ll hear you”

Kellan:            “I give up!”

Lori:                “That’s it honey, just go with the flow”

Kellan             “Griffin is a dead man”

Lori:          “Yeah, but Jenny is going to be so excited.  Not to mention Sam and I have already attempted to get you to come of your own free will but you turned us down.  Let this be a lesson honey, never underestimate a determined woman.”

Kellan:            “You do realize this is kidnapping.  I thought you two were cool but I’m starting to have my doubts”

Lori:                “We fucking ROCK Kellan, never doubt that… Look how much trouble Sam and I are going to just to make Jenny’s dream come true.”

Sam:                “Right!  We are awesome.”

Kellan:            “Can you at least uncuff me and let me drive?  You’re making me nervous because you’re a horrible driver.”

Lori and Sam (*at the same time*):  “NoPe.”

Kellan:             “FUCK LORI!  Watch out for that Semi next to us. I don’t think I’m going to survive this”

Lori:                “Sit back and relax, I’m an excellent driver.” (*Looks at Sam*)  “I think it’s time for the bag”

Sam:                (*Snorts*)  “Yeah she is, She only almost hits other cars 5 or 6 times a day”   (*Places a bag over Kellan’s head*)

Lori:                “They need to pay better attention to me, It’s so not my fault they are in the lane I want to be in”

 

(*After being on the road for about 2 hours they pull over to refuel*)

 

Lori:                (*Looks at Sam and grins*)  “Fill her up with Regular Sammy… I’ll go take care of one of our shenanigans”

Kellan             “Oh My God.  Do NOT use regular, my baby need to be filled with premium only”.

Lori:                “Gas is Gas and I am NOT paying 30 extra cents a gallon for gas.  Dude, we’re in Illinois and their gas prices fucking suck!”

Kellan:            “Geez Lori, I don’t care if it’s 50 cents extra use premium”

Lori:                (*Looks at Sam*)  “ Fill her up buttercup”  (to Kellan) “Don’t think I won’t knock you out honey, keep the conversation fun and we’ll get along just great, I’ll even ask Jenny to give you a happy ending if you behave”

Kellan:            “Please help me out here Sam, I’ll make worth your while”

Sam:                “Jenny’s a bit of a prude and she loves Kiera – if she can’t perform that Happy Ending I’ll be all over  it, Is that what you’re going for there  Kellan?”

Lori:                “You got it buttercup”

Kellan:            (*sigh’s loudly*)

(Milkshake starts playing again – Lori answers her phone)

Lori:                “Hi Jenny, what is it this time”?

Sam:                “No  way! That’s her AGAIN!!!!??”

Jenny:             “I meant what I said Lori, you or Sam lay one hand on him, even unintentionally,  and I will make you pay!!”

 Lori:                “I heard you the first ten times.  Good Lord, why don’t you just grab yourself a drink and chill”

 Sam:                “Good god on a pogo stick that fucking Kellan alarm.  She really needs to chill”

 Lori:                “Hear that? Sam said to chill”

 Kellan:            “Jenny, for fucks sake come and help me, I’m stuck in my Chevelle, with a bag over my head, 3 blow up dolls in the back, and two crazy women in the front – and Lori can’t drive!”

Jenny:            “OMG! Kellan….I know they’re crazy, but they’re only thinking of me”

 Sam:                “We are NOT crazy, we are creative geniuses”

 Lori:                “Kellan, I won’t warn you again…..they’re our friends and they’ll hear you.  And I only put that bag on your head because I was sick of hearing you criticize my mad driving skills”

 Kellan:            “That’s because you have the most awful driving skills of anyone I know and I swear I’m not going to make it to Chicago alive.”

 Lori:                 “Shut it pretty boy…. You’ll get there just fine, don’t make me warn you again.”

 Jenny:             “Wait a minute….back up!!  You put a bag over my Kellan’s head?  Are you insane!!  Take it off! You’ll ruin his hair!  You can’t cover up THAT face!  Ohmigod Lori, I’m scared.   Kellan, I’ll  be here for you – hang in there fictional love of my life”

 Lori                 “It’s all good babycakes, you can trust me, Sam take the bag off Kellan’s head.  Jenny’s getting testy”

 Jenny:             “Lori, you don’t fill me with confidence”

 Sam:                “Don’t worry Jenny, we got this!”

 Jenny:             “Sam! Lori! I’m warning you both..…”

 Lori:                “Oh sorry…what….what…….. you’re….bbbreakkkking up…..gotta go”

 Jenny:             “I mean it !!!!……keep your filthy paws off Kell…………………..!”

 (Lori cuts her off)

 Sam:                “First rule of business in Chicago….disarm that fucking Kellan alarm – that shits gotta go!”

 Lori:           “You are so right… we need a code name for ole Kell here.”  (*Looks Kellan and takes the bag off his head and smiles at him*)  “You’re so cute, I think we’ll call you Bob.”

 Kellan:            “Bob?  What the fuck Lori?”

 Lori:                “Yes Bob… B.O.B…. Bob… got it?”

 Sam:                (*laughing her ass off*) Bob?  As in Battery operated Boyfriend?  That’s a good one, I wonder if Jenny has a BOB named Kellan”?

 Lori:                (*giggles*) “I know right?  I bet if she does it’s blue to match his eyes” (*starts  giggling so hard she’s snorting*)

 Kellan:            *(*who is sitting there trying not to laugh*) “Fuck me.”

 Sam:                “Watch what you’re offering there handsome”

 Lori:                “Ah, my naughty librarian has decided to come out and play with *ahem* Bob I see”

 Kellan:            (*is actually chuckling at Sam and Lori now*) “Lori do you always run your  mouth like this?”

 Sam:         “Yep she does, she’s never ending.  The girl has one hell of a dirty mind”

 Lori:                (*Points to herself*)  “Who me?  I’m sweet as pie and innocent!  You would so  see that Kel *cough* I mean Bob if you would have just taken Sam and I up on our first offer”

 Kellan:            “I thought you were joking.”

 Sam:               “I never joke about slumber parties that include a smoking hot guy like you Bob.”

 Lori                 (giggles)  “I can’t get over the fact that I have officially named him after a  vibrator, Jenny is going to love this… but crap, we can’t tell her or she’ll know  that we broke her… “insert his real name here”…. Alarm”

 Kellan:            “I swear you’re like a female version of Griff”

 Lori:                (*Smiles at Kellan*) “Why thanks Kel… umm I mean Bob”

 Kellan:            “Please just let me drive.  I’ll even let you sit up front”

Lori:                “You keep talking sweet stuff and try and bribe me”

Sam:                “Nice one!  But, I wonder how long it will be before you forget his new name and Jenny starts calling again?”

Lori:                “Let’s test out the alarm… now that we’re no longer calling him by his real name  let’s see what we can get away with.”

Sam :               “I’m down with that.”

Lori and Sam each run a finger down Kellan’s arms as Lori’s cell starts playing Milkshake again

Lori:                “Damn her alarm is good”  (*Says sweetly into the phone*)  “What can I do for you babycakes?”

Jenny:             “I’m sitting in a bar in Chicago, I’m lonely and I want my Kellan present.  NOW!  Drive fast and don’t touch him!  You all know Kellan is off limits, there’s not even a friends clause in that contract!”

Lori:                “Gotcha! I’ll step on the gas”

Jenny:             “Drive fast – see you soon”

Kellan:            “Do NOT step on the gas!!!

Lori:                “Yeah, yeah whatever.”

Lori floors it and arrives in Chicago a short while later where she has delivered a still in one piece Kellan to a very excited Jenny who finally gets to cop her feel!

 

By  Jenny Aspinall  (TotallyBooked) and Lori Francis (Lori’s Book BlogSeptember 2012*

**Characters  of Kellan and Griffin used by kind permission from S.C. Stephens   (be sure to check out Kellan Kyle in Thoughtless and Effortless books # 1 and  #2 from the “Thoughtless” series – Book #3 Reckless To Be Released  5th March).  Thank you so much for your help with this SC.  As always you are a dream to work with! **

*** Thanks to Sam Baer for your help and input in all this craziness…..you’re all kinds of crazy and we LOVE it!! Xx *** 

****Big HUGE thanks to Renae Porter for all your help creating these amazing pictures.  You’re a doll and we adore you!!  (it’s the new haircut!)  Xx ****

***** And to Generous Gitte, Luscious Leanne and Ho-Larious Mollie – You ladies R O C K – love you crazy girls!!!

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Oh No They Didn’t!!!

Alert! Alert!  Kellan Kyle’s Been Kidnapped!

We’re meeting Griffin at The Verizon Amphitheatre  in St Louis, Missouri

 Griffin gets Kellan to the car by asking him if he’ll go for a couple of drinks with him to wind down after their show………they’re heading out to the parking lot where they see Lori and Sam.

 

Kellan :           “Hey ladies.  Lori, good to see you again.  What are you doing here?”

 Lori:                “Good to see you too Kellan.  Nothing much, what are y’all up to?”

Sam:                “Well Kellan Kyle, aren’t you just all kinds of hotness in the flesh – I could just  eat him with a spoon!”

 Kellan:            “Ummm thanks Sam, Griff and I are just heading out for a couple of drinks”

 Griffin:            “Actually num nuts there’s been a slight change of plan”

Kellan sees what he thinks is his Chevelle in the parking lot – we’ve managed to get an exact replica of his baby – he’s not gonna be happy!!!

Kellan:            “What the??!!  Griffin, what the FUCK  is my Chevelle doing here?”

They get to the car – Kellan is  freaking OUT!
 

Griffin:            “We had it shipped from Seattle.  Thought you’d be missing it.”

 Kellan:            “She was all locked up tight, what the fuck were you thinking Griff?”

 Griffin:            “Quit your boo hooing and get in the car so we can go” (*winks at Lori*)

 Sam:               “Okay but before you go, can I give you a hug?”

Kellan walks towards Sam to give her a hug as she stumbles back and falls on her bottom.

Griffin trips Kellan who falls on top of Sam.  

As he tries to gain some ground to get himself up Lori and Griffin each grab and arm and pull it behind his back  and handcuff him
 Kellan:           “What the fuck?”  (*glares at Griffin who is laughing his ass off*).

 Griffin:            “Pink fluffy handcuffs – hahaha  they’re  just right for ol’ boo hoo here!”

 Sam :              “I knew this was a bad idea because I didn’t get my fucking hug, at least he landed on top of me though – quick Lori,  get a picture….that will drive Jenny  crazy!” (*Lori and Sam are giggling just thinking about Jenny’s reaction*)

 Lori:                “Kellan will you hold still for like 5 seconds so I can take this picture”

 Sam:                “Pink fluffy handcuffs look hot on him.  Kell you make everything hot”

We walk him over to the car while he struggles and when he sees who is in the back seat he stops……

Kellan:           “Why the hell are there 3 blow up dolls in the back of my car”

Lori and Sam (*yell at the same time*)   “Those are NOT blow up dolls… those are our friends!”

 Griffin:            “Fuck yeah, it’s an orgy.”

 Kellan:             “None of you are driving my baby”

 Griffin:            “Kell, grow some balls…besides, they’ll try and be gentle with her – can’t promise though”

 Kellan             “No fucking way, are any of you driving the Chevelle.  Not happening.”

 Lori:                “I say we just knock him out and then Sam can take advantage of him.”

Sam:                “Lori I’d want Kellan conscious if I were take advantage of him, but you know I can’t because Jenny would kill me.”

 Kellan:            There is no way any of you are driving my fuckin’ car!

 Griffin:        “Shut it Kell or we’ll have to knock you out”

 Kellan             “You know you’ll pay for this Griff!”

 Lori:                “Okay!   I’ll drive first and Sam can take over when she’s finished fondling  *ahem, sorry Jenny* gawping at  Kellan – but first I need to give Griff a kiss goodbye….you know…to thank him properly and all that.  (*winks at Sam and Kellan*)  (*gives Griffin a huge kiss*)

Kellan & Sam both start coughing


Griffin
:            “Wow, Lori, didn’t expect you to use tongue, but the Hulk and I liked it”.

 Lori:                “Glad you liked it as much as me my little Hulkmeister, thank for your help and I’ll no doubt see you soon, if you know what I mean”

 Kellan:            “Tell Kiera I’ll see her………ummmm when will I be back by the way?

 Griffin:            “Don’t worry, I’ll explain to the old ball and chain where you are.  Can’t wait to see the look on her face”

 Kellan:            “Kiera will have your balls for this Griff”

 Lori:                “She’ll understand when I explain it’s for Jenny – I think they formed a bond. She’ll be cool”

 Griffin:            “Have fun with Mr Buzzkill there.  I would’ve been much more fun that fuckin’ buzz kill”

 Lori:                (*gives Griff another squeeze*) “I know you would be, but I have to do this for  Jenny so she will finally quit pestering me about how I took advantage of my  hugs and she didn’t get the chance.  I’ll come kidnap you soon, unless you want to meet us in Chicago – I have spare handcuffs?” (*Plants another kiss on Griff before he can say anything and then walks away*)
We all get in the car – Kellan is going out of his mind about us driving his baby – if only he knew

Lori calls Jenny to tell her the good news.

Lori:             “Guess who we have in the car?”

 Jenny:             “Knowing you Lori, it could be anyone………surprise me”

 Sam:                (*Yells out*)  “You’ll never in a million years guess”

 Jenny:             (*Jokes and laughs*  ) “Kellan Kyle?”

 Lori                 “How the hell did you know?….wow!  Your Kellan alarm is better than I thought.”

 Jenny:             “Wait!!!  What!!!?   What do you mean?”

 Lori                  “We kidnapped Kellan.  We’re bringing him to Chicago so you can grope him. You know you’ve never gotten over the fact you didn’t get to do it in that interview, well we’re gonna set things right”

 Jenny:             “You mean you really have Kellan…….OMG! Oh my freaking god!!  Lori I  could kiss you!  I mean….ARE YOU CRAZY?  You can’t just kidnap someone!!!  Is he okay?”

 Lori                 “Yeah, he’s just a little tied up at the moment” (Lori and Sam giggle)

 Jenny              “Okay, I’ll be here…..waiting….omg! I can’t believe you did that! For me! Look  after him won’t you – keep that Sam away from him…I know she lusts after him in private, my Kellan alarm can sense it and she knows he’s mine!”

 Lori:                “You know I will babycakes… rest easy I will get your precious Kellan AND his baby to you in one piece”.

 Jenny:             “His baby?  Lori, tell me you didn’t get the Chevelle too.  He will do his nut!”.

 Lori:                (*snorts*  “I love that saying!  I had to make this as authentic as possible for you. Not only are you going to ride Kellan but you’ll get a ride in his baby too”    (makes eye contact with Kellan and winks as he glares at her*)

 Jenny:              “I love you!  Be safe and treat Kellan and his baby well or else.”

 Lori:                (turns the key the wrong way and the noise is awful)  “Whoops, sorry about that Kellan”  (if only he knew!)

 Kellan:            “I think I’m having a heart attack”

 Sam:                “Go a little easy on the car there Lori, old Kell here looks a bit green”

 Kellan:            “Thank you Sam, I could kiss you for that comment”

 Sam:                “Please do”

Kellan:            “It was just an expression Sam”

Sam:                “Damn – I will never give up trying hot stuff”

Lori:                (*Rolls her eyes*)” Okay fine, I’ll go easy on his baby” (Puts it in gear and squeals the tires out of the parking lot)

Kellan:            “Oh fuck Lori, you’re killing me here.  Couldn’t we just go by bus? I’ll go quietly.”

Sam:                “Sorry Kellan, I’m kinda liking seeing you all ‘cuffed up!!  Wow Lori, it sort of sucks that we’re such good friends with Jenny cause I really want to take  advantage of disadvantaged Kellan if you know what I mean”

Lori:                “Oh I get ya buttercup, you’re only human.  Go on, cop a quick feel while you can…..Jenny and Kiera will never know..what goes on tour and all that”.

Sam:                “Yeah, besides Jenny is going to get her reward when we get to Chicago – it only feels right that I shouldn’t miss out.  And you’re right, she’ll never know!”

Lori                 “Good thing she’s in Chicago waiting for us and her Kellan alarm is switched off.”

(Lori’s cell starts playing Milkshake by Kelis)

 

Jenny:             “You so much as touch one JF hair on Kellan’s head and I will hurt you both!   I mean it!!”

Lori:                “Damn, she hung up before I could tell her to go grab a Vodka so she can relax for the next 5 hours”

Sam:                “Are you serious?  That was Jenny?”

Lori:                “Yep, she was warning us off touching Kellan. Shoot I think she really DOES have a Kellan alarm”

Sam:                “What in the ham fat?!  How did she know!   We’ve gotta do something about that Kellan alarm.”

Lori:                “We better introduce you to our friends Kellan.  Meet Luscious Leanne, Ho-larious Mollie and Generous Gitte.  We’re taking them on a road trip to meet Jenny in Chicago”

Kellan             “Lori, they’re blow up dolls”

Sam:                “Shhhh, they’ll hear you”

Kellan:            “I give up!”

Lori:                “That’s it honey, just go with the flow”

Kellan             “Griffin is a dead man”

Lori:          “Yeah, but Jenny is going to be so excited.  Not to mention Sam and I have already attempted to get you to come of your own free will but you turned us down.  Let this be a lesson honey, never underestimate a determined woman.”

Kellan:            “You do realize this is kidnapping.  I thought you two were cool but I’m starting to have my doubts”

Lori:                “We fucking ROCK Kellan, never doubt that… Look how much trouble Sam and I are going to just to make Jenny’s dream come true.”

Sam:                “Right!  We are awesome.”

Kellan:            “Can you at least uncuff me and let me drive?  You’re making me nervous because you’re a horrible driver.”

Lori and Sam (*at the same time*):  “NoPe.”

Kellan:             “FUCK LORI!  Watch out for that Semi next to us. I don’t think I’m going to survive this”

Lori:                “Sit back and relax, I’m an excellent driver.” (*Looks at Sam*)  “I think it’s time for the bag”

Sam:                (*Snorts*)  “Yeah she is, She only almost hits other cars 5 or 6 times a day”   (*Places a bag over Kellan’s head*)

Lori:                “They need to pay better attention to me, It’s so not my fault they are in the lane I want to be in”

 

(*After being on the road for about 2 hours they pull over to refuel*)

 

Lori:                (*Looks at Sam and grins*)  “Fill her up with Regular Sammy… I’ll go take care of one of our shenanigans”

Kellan             “Oh My God.  Do NOT use regular, my baby need to be filled with premium only”.

Lori:                “Gas is Gas and I am NOT paying 30 extra cents a gallon for gas.  Dude, we’re in Illinois and their gas prices fucking suck!”

Kellan:            “Geez Lori, I don’t care if it’s 50 cents extra use premium”

Lori:                (*Looks at Sam*)  “ Fill her up buttercup”  (to Kellan) “Don’t think I won’t knock you out honey, keep the conversation fun and we’ll get along just great, I’ll even ask Jenny to give you a happy ending if you behave”

Kellan:            “Please help me out here Sam, I’ll make worth your while”

Sam:                “Jenny’s a bit of a prude and she loves Kiera – if she can’t perform that Happy Ending I’ll be all over  it, Is that what you’re going for there  Kellan?”

Lori:                “You got it buttercup”

Kellan:            (*sigh’s loudly*)

(Milkshake starts playing again – Lori answers her phone)

Lori:                “Hi Jenny, what is it this time”?

Sam:                “No  way! That’s her AGAIN!!!!??”

Jenny:             “I meant what I said Lori, you or Sam lay one hand on him, even unintentionally,  and I will make you pay!!”

 Lori:                “I heard you the first ten times.  Good Lord, why don’t you just grab yourself a drink and chill”

 Sam:                “Good god on a pogo stick that fucking Kellan alarm.  She really needs to chill”

 Lori:                “Hear that? Sam said to chill”

 Kellan:            “Jenny, for fucks sake come and help me, I’m stuck in my Chevelle, with a bag over my head, 3 blow up dolls in the back, and two crazy women in the front – and Lori can’t drive!”

Jenny:            “OMG! Kellan….I know they’re crazy, but they’re only thinking of me”

 Sam:                “We are NOT crazy, we are creative geniuses”

 Lori:                “Kellan, I won’t warn you again…..they’re our friends and they’ll hear you.  And I only put that bag on your head because I was sick of hearing you criticize my mad driving skills”

 Kellan:            “That’s because you have the most awful driving skills of anyone I know and I swear I’m not going to make it to Chicago alive.”

 Lori:                 “Shut it pretty boy…. You’ll get there just fine, don’t make me warn you again.”

 Jenny:             “Wait a minute….back up!!  You put a bag over my Kellan’s head?  Are you insane!!  Take it off! You’ll ruin his hair!  You can’t cover up THAT face!  Ohmigod Lori, I’m scared.   Kellan, I’ll  be here for you – hang in there fictional love of my life”

 Lori                 “It’s all good babycakes, you can trust me, Sam take the bag off Kellan’s head.  Jenny’s getting testy”

 Jenny:             “Lori, you don’t fill me with confidence”

 Sam:                “Don’t worry Jenny, we got this!”

 Jenny:             “Sam! Lori! I’m warning you both..…”

 Lori:                “Oh sorry…what….what…….. you’re….bbbreakkkking up…..gotta go”

 Jenny:             “I mean it !!!!……keep your filthy paws off Kell…………………..!”

 (Lori cuts her off)

 Sam:                “First rule of business in Chicago….disarm that fucking Kellan alarm – that shits gotta go!”

 Lori:           “You are so right… we need a code name for ole Kell here.”  (*Looks Kellan and takes the bag off his head and smiles at him*)  “You’re so cute, I think we’ll call you Bob.”

 Kellan:            “Bob?  What the fuck Lori?”

 Lori:                “Yes Bob… B.O.B…. Bob… got it?”

 Sam:                (*laughing her ass off*) Bob?  As in Battery operated Boyfriend?  That’s a good one, I wonder if Jenny has a BOB named Kellan”?

 Lori:                (*giggles*) “I know right?  I bet if she does it’s blue to match his eyes” (*starts  giggling so hard she’s snorting*)

 Kellan:            *(*who is sitting there trying not to laugh*) “Fuck me.”

 Sam:                “Watch what you’re offering there handsome”

 Lori:                “Ah, my naughty librarian has decided to come out and play with *ahem* Bob I see”

 Kellan:            (*is actually chuckling at Sam and Lori now*) “Lori do you always run your  mouth like this?”

 Sam:         “Yep she does, she’s never ending.  The girl has one hell of a dirty mind”

 Lori:                (*Points to herself*)  “Who me?  I’m sweet as pie and innocent!  You would so  see that Kel *cough* I mean Bob if you would have just taken Sam and I up on our first offer”

 Kellan:            “I thought you were joking.”

 Sam:               “I never joke about slumber parties that include a smoking hot guy like you Bob.”

 Lori                 (giggles)  “I can’t get over the fact that I have officially named him after a  vibrator, Jenny is going to love this… but crap, we can’t tell her or she’ll know  that we broke her… “insert his real name here”…. Alarm”

 Kellan:            “I swear you’re like a female version of Griff”

 Lori:                (*Smiles at Kellan*) “Why thanks Kel… umm I mean Bob”

 Kellan:            “Please just let me drive.  I’ll even let you sit up front”

Lori:                “You keep talking sweet stuff and try and bribe me”

Sam:                “Nice one!  But, I wonder how long it will be before you forget his new name and Jenny starts calling again?”

Lori:                “Let’s test out the alarm… now that we’re no longer calling him by his real name  let’s see what we can get away with.”

Sam :               “I’m down with that.”

Lori and Sam each run a finger down Kellan’s arms as Lori’s cell starts playing Milkshake again

Lori:                “Damn her alarm is good”  (*Says sweetly into the phone*)  “What can I do for you babycakes?”

Jenny:             “I’m sitting in a bar in Chicago, I’m lonely and I want my Kellan present.  NOW!  Drive fast and don’t touch him!  You all know Kellan is off limits, there’s not even a friends clause in that contract!”

Lori:                “Gotcha! I’ll step on the gas”

Jenny:             “Drive fast – see you soon”

Kellan:            “Do NOT step on the gas!!!

Lori:                “Yeah, yeah whatever.”

Lori floors it and arrives in Chicago a short while later where she has delivered a still in one piece Kellan to a very excited Jenny who finally gets to cop her feel!

 

By  Jenny Aspinall  (TotallyBooked) and Lori Francis (Lori’s Book BlogSeptember 2012*

**Characters  of Kellan and Griffin used by kind permission from S.C. Stephens   (be sure to check out Kellan Kyle in Thoughtless and Effortless books # 1 and  #2 from the “Thoughtless” series – Book #3 Reckless To Be Released  5th March).  Thank you so much for your help with this SC.  As always you are a dream to work with! **

*** Thanks to Sam Baer for your help and input in all this craziness…..you’re all kinds of crazy and we LOVE it!! Xx *** 

****Big HUGE thanks to Renae Porter for all your help creating these amazing pictures.  You’re a doll and we adore you!!  (it’s the new haircut!)  Xx ****

***** And to Generous Gitte, Luscious Leanne and Ho-Larious Mollie – You ladies R O C K – love you crazy girls!!!

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I Love You To Death by Natalie Ward

Gitte 4.5 Stars.
Jenny 5 Stars


Gitte:    
I thought this was an extremely emotional and beautiful story. So different to anything I have read lately.  I felt very melancholy throughout pretty much the whole book.  I LOVED the music references, the play list was so important to this story. And because I pretty much have the majority of those songs on my iPod I felt ever written word in my heart.  As I listened to them whilst reading I got chills, tears and at times my heart was in a puddle on the floor!

Jenny:   I got excited for this book on the first few pages when I saw the first playlist.  Like you GG, it was like the author had stolen my Ipod and put all my favourite bands and music in this book and every song was so important to the story.  I did the same…listened to the songs while reading.
This was certainly a beautiful and emotional book and so well written.  I just loved the author’ style of writing  – everything felt so real and being that it is written in the first person you really feel the impact of the story especially when Ash allows herself to feel.  This is a story I truly felt.

Gitte:  It was beautifully written and I have to say the build-up had me desperate to get to the end because I literally had no idea where this story was going to end up. And the ending…WOW…PERFECTION! I did not see that coming and it made the story of Ash and Luke so poignant and emotionally heart wrenching and moving.

Jenny:  I was the same – I was so anxious while reading it just wondering what was coming next and felt the story was well executed and switching from past to present prevented the story from getting bogged down and really kept up the pace l – I was dying to know how this book was going to end up.

Gitte: My heart ached for Ash, I wanted to pick her up , cuddle her and keep her out of harm’s way…in my head I called her my little Grim Reaper. But affectionally; because this girl; what she had to go through, wow I cried…A LOT!!!

“The anger at being the way I am, the anger at having caused all this and more than anything, the anger at being unable to do a f*****g thing about it all.”

Jenny:  I loved Ash (Asha) too.  Wow, what that girl had dealt with.  No wonder she was so closed off emotionally.  She was so full of self-doubt and so afraid to care or love another person and understandably so.  I cried a few times as well.  How much could one person endure and come out unscathed.

Gitte    I LOVED the past/present style of writing.  It gave us the background and explained the perception and conclusions drawn by Ash. This girl has rationalised everything back to herself and lives with this dark and distorted view of herself.

Jenny:  I really enjoyed the past/present switch and found myself itching for it to go back and forth because I really wanted to know how Ash got to the place she was at now, but at the same time I wanted to switch to the present to watch this beautiful relationship between her and Luke evolve, watching how Luke draws Ash out of herself.
The switching was flawless and handled so well.  In particular the story of Sam had me in tears.

Gitte:  Luke was amazing. He was a hero; a saviour and I loved him immediately!

Jenny:  Luke….where do I start with him.  I just loved him. And not because he was gorgeous, sensitive, caring, patient, tattooed lead singer in a band….okay, that helped, but Luke is so much more.  What a great hero he was.  I have to say, the sexual chemistry between these two was sizzling. Watching their relationship develop just touched my heart.  Luke really sees Ash.  He sees her pain.
He’s unearthed it and yet he stays”
I love how Luke saw through her.  How he took the time and saw the girl who was underneath.

Gitte:  Two scenes in particular completely did me in….I had to stop reading I was crying that hard….but I won’t spoil this amazing book and say any more than that! Just know that if you are a crier like me you will need a full box of tissues!!

“…these things do happen and it’s just a part of life….”

Jenny:   This book is a sad book, I certainly shed a few tears, but it’s also a book about hope and moving forward and dealing with your past.  Luke and Ash dealt together and they will both steal your heart.   I love these lines from Ash about Luke:

Ash on Luke
“I watch his eyes as they find me in the crowd.  I watch his lips as they sing into the microphone.  I watch his fingers as they play his guitar.  I watch his body as it moves around the stage and I imagine his eyes, his body…all over me.  I want him”

Well, have I tempted you to read this book yet?  I hope so because I’m sure you will love it as much as we did.

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The Hulk? As in the D-Bags? What's Going On? Be sure to come back on Thursday when all will be revealed ;)

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The Hulk? As in the D-Bags? What’s Going On? Be sure to come back on Thursday when all will be revealed ;)

9 Comments

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Just for Now by Abbi Glines – COVER REVEAL!!

Title: Just for Now (Sea Breeze, #4)

Age Group/Genre: New Adult Contemporary Romance

Expected Release: October 23, 2012

Cover Design: Mooney Designs

Book trailer created by: Hellion Works

Cover reveal organized by: AToMR Tours

Summary

The day Preston Drake figured out that wealthy women paid well for a set of tight abs and a pretty face his life turned around.
The run down rat-infested trailer he had shared with his alcoholic mother and three younger siblings was now only a place he visited to pay the bills and stock the pantry with food.

He no longer worried about his family starving or living without electricity. The money he made entertaining rich older women more than covered his family’s needs and his own. He had it all figured out. Except…

There was this girl.
She was as innocent as he was tainted.

Amanda Hardy wished her knees didn’t get weak when Preston walked into a room. She hated the fact her heart raced when he flashed his smile in her direction. He had a different girl in his bed every night. He was the kind of boy a smart girl ran from. So, why was she coming up with ways to get close to him? Even when it was obvious he wanted to keep her at a distance.

Maybe her heart knew something the world didn’t. Maybe Preston Drake was more than just a pretty face.

 

 

Bio:

Abbi Glines can be found hanging out with rockstars, taking out her yacht on weekends for a party cruise, sky diving, or surfing in Maui. Okay maybe she needs to keep her imagination focused on her writing only. In the real world, Abbi can be found hauling kids (several who seem to show up that don’t belong to her) to all their social events, hiding under the covers with her MacBook in hopes her husband won’t catch her watching Buffy on Netflix again, and sneaking off to Barnes and Noble to spend hours lost in the yummy goodness of books. If you want to find her then check Twitter first because she has a severe addiction to tweeting @abbiglines.   Facebook is also somewhere she visits a little too often. She blogs regularly but rarely about anything life changing. She also really enjoys talking about herself in third person.

Abbi Glines| Facebook| Twitter

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Need (Finday Anna #2) by Sherri Hayes

4 STARS

Need was a beautiful continuation of the story that began in Slave. I still love the style of writing and the pace in which it is told. I also love that we get the POV change again with some scenes told by both Stephan and Brianna so we know how each was affected.

This instalment sees Stephan’s continuous strength, patience and efforts in helping Brianna on her road to recovery.  He realizes he has fallen in love with her and she is slowly starting to realize she is not his slave and is free to leave him should she wish to. However, Brianna is initially still so broken she is unable to leave the safe haven of his apartment.

Stephan is truly fabulous and patient, and despite being a Dominant, he pushes Brianna to realise her worth and her right to independence as well as showing her she can trust him without ever pushing her beyond her limits.

Brianna needs this kind of control, and through the firm guiding of Stephan and his gentle advances  he begins to be the one person who can retrieve her when she succumbs to flash backs and panic attacks. Brianna’s trust in him has grown and she realizes that Stephan is her constant, her lifeline and her hope, she is actually, despite coming across almost childlike, a very strong person. Stephan wants her as his submissive but is afraid to push this want on Brianna. She knows that Stephan has had submissives before but to begin with is unable to differentiate between this and being a slave.

I thought Stephan came across unwise in the sense of determining what is the best and most appropriate method to adopt to “fix” Brianna. However, I think he feels so responsible for her recovery and extremely protective over her. He perhaps arrogantly thinks he is the only one that won’t hurt her and has her best intentions at heart. To me, he came across a lot older than his years. Sometimes I had a bit of a hard time believing he was only in his early 20’s. I would have added another 10 years. However, with Brianna only being 18, this just wouldn’t have worked. Overall though, I understood him, his attentiveness, his control proved to slowly improve Brianna’s life mentally. This came about through his ability to second guess her and ultimately his love

I have to say that Need raised more answers than it answered. However, how would a young girl come back from a life of being sold, beaten and abused in every manner? And how long would such a process take?

We are left with a cliff-hanger, oh how I hate that!!! The third book is not due until summer 2013, and I for one cannot wait!!!

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Slave (Finding Anna #1) by Sherri Hayes

4 STARS

This is quite a distressing story of young Brianna who has been forced to live a life as a slave. That is until Stephan steps in and saves her.

Stephan is a dominant and when he is told about a girl named Brianna who lives as an unwilling slave, being tortured and used not by choice he cannot help but act.  Unfortunately the “Owner” of Brianna will only relinquish his ownership if Stephan buys her off him for a substantial amount of money. Stephan, who is a very wealthy young CEO, recognises that this girl is terrified and understands the current and eventual plight of this poor girl when he sees he bruised and haunted.

“The Thought of buying a woman turned my stomach…..I couldn’t leave her there that was certain, not if she was there against her will.”

Stephan originally thought to set her free once he got her safely out of there. However, he soon finds that Brianna is so emotionally scarred and is unable to function on her own that he sets himself the task of slowly trying to bring her out of herself, helping her reclaim who she is, her own worth and her recovery. First though he needs to gain her trust and make her feel safe. This proves to be a long arduous journey and trust is not something that is easily reached as Brianna believes she has gone from one sadist master to another.

I loved how this story is told in both the hero and the heroines POV. We get to see this horrific situation from both sides which makes it that much more emotional and you get the chance to understand the actions of both characters.

Poor Brianna, she broke my heart. She has been tortured and broken and is understandably scared to death of Stephen. Through her POV some of her past is revealed and I have to say I felt both distressed and sick to my stomach at times reading what she had been through.

Stephan, well he was pretty damn amazing. Here is a young guy who knows exactly who he is and what he wants. He is a strong alpha male but he has compassion, he has decency and he has heart. All he wants to do is help Brianna recover and set her free.

Things don’t go quite to plan when slowly, Stephan realises that he is falling in love with Brianna. This broke my heart when he sadly realises that she may never have the emotional strength or ability to return this love.

In a nutshell this journey is a very deep and emotional read about how a young girl kept in sadistic non-consensual slavery is affected mentally and how our hero takes it upon himself to try to heal her and show her it is okay to trust and love.

Side note: This story does not have BDSM in it other than a few mentions from Brianna’s time as a slave. It also does not have explicit sex.

I can highly recommend this book and I would like to thank Sherri Hayes,TWCS & Netgalley for sending me the ARC.

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Risking It All by Jennifer Schmidt

3. 5 stars

Kennedy Monroe barely got her foot in her college dorm her freshman year before she was being warned about a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed self-proclaimed Casanova. There were only so many tales of heartache – and incredibly steamy nights – she could listen to before she started to believe them. But after a run in with the most sought after college womanizer, her ill feelings toward him change and soon a friendship forms that surprises everyone.

Twelve years later Kennedy and Memphis Adams are closer than ever – and only friends despite what those around them think, including Kennedy’s boyfriend Ian Brooks. When Kennedy accepts an invitation to vacation in Alaska from Memphis, her relationship with Brooks is tested as is her restraint when it comes to the desire she has always had for her best friend.

I did like this book but there were some things missing that caused me to not love it.

I absolutely love a friends to lovers story and I especially love feeling involved in the friendship and see the characters move to the next level and herein lies my problem. I didn’t get that – I felt that I didn’t get to experience the friendship side of the Memphis and Kennedy’s relationship before it moved to the next level. I would have like a little more time and detail spent on this part of the story.

I liked the story being set in Alaska and I really loved Memphis – all that bad boy with yet so much more had me in his corner but Kennedy….she tested me.

He indecision frustrated me at times and though and I found it hard to understand how she couldn’t see that Memphis was the obvious choice. I didn’t really follow her relationship with Ian and she did frustrate me.

This book did keep my interest and I did enjoy it but it didn’t get to that next level with me as I felt it just fell a little short.

This was provided as an ARC from Netgalley

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Samantha & The Malebox – Review Bared to You by Sylvia Day – they're baring all to us

Malebox   

Well…Bared to You..if I get the obvious parallel with Fifty Shades of Grey out the way first. I found the books quite similar in their respective stories, although the characters were quite different…this is definitely more of a woman’s read whereas Fifty I think can appeal more to both men and women..

Samantha

I agree with the similarities between the books.  Eva is a much better character than Ana even though she has her issues.  I think you don’t like her as much, cause she isn’t weak like Ana is.

Malebox

Gideon Cross. What do women see in a handsome, bad boy, chiseled, heavily endowed sex master multi-millionaire… because I am not quite sure?  I think it must be his sparkling personality and sense of humor..no wait that is me…I get confused..what woman wouldn’t want this package..I am not a woman and I want it…I quite liked him really and found him quite amusing.

Samantha

You and Gideon… twins.. completely.  I am not laughing at all as I am typing this, nor am I smiling.  I am completely serious.  I have my very serious face on.

Malebox

Eva. I quite liked her at the beginning.  She sounded hot, she has a bit of money tucked away and she is open to relatively care free sexual encounters…she has some issues but then again don’t we all…I started to get annoyed with her towards the end as she wouldn’t give poor Gideon a minute without probing questions.  He should have said ” listen Eva, you don’t need to know…now get your clothes off its playtime”

Samantha

Right…were we reading the same book?  I don’t think she asked him enough questions.  The man has ISSUES.  Crazy nocturnal masturbation behavior and attacking Eva in his sleep, yeah I would be holding a thorough interrogation session.  Although your method could prove quite useful….I could try it on my husband.

Malebox

I found the relationship between them entertaining, but for me, everyone started to get a bit needy and insecure towards the end..as an amateur in the world of romance novels, I need to know why can’t people just say what they mean? Everyone needs to get a grip of themselves…. he loves me then he doesn’t, then we are mad at each other, then we kiss and make up, but I am still mad at him but I am not telling him that I’m mad, oh but I love him, I love her but I can’t tell her that even though she wants me to tell her and even if I did she wouldn’t believe me…

Samantha

  I don’t think most people EVER say what they mean.   Can you imagine if people were always honest?  It would be refreshing, but there would be a lot of hurt feelings.

Malebox

I learnt some fascinating expressions like B.O.B and was given an insight into dirty talk which is always good..

Samantha

I love B.O.B. J  Do you have a B.O. G.??

Malebox

I think that Gideon is on the same assisted erection medication as our friend in Backstage Pass, however I think Gideon is on double the dose..the man even masturbates in his sleep…now that is hardcore! Personally I think he was pretending to be asleep so he can play with himself and have an excuse.  It is genius when you think about it…it opens up endless possibilities for us men “sorry I woke you darling, I don’t know what happened and why I tried to put my penis in there…I must have been asleep”…

Cary was quite entertaining throughout and quite also disturbing when he was in the bisexual encounter towards the end.   Overall, it was an enjoyable read.

Samantha

I love Cary.  He has to be one of my very favorite characters.  He “gets” Eva and doesn’t take any shit from her, but protects her as well.  I want him to be my best friend.  I also refuse to believe that Gideon Brian take “assisted erection medication”.    You are jealous.  So there.  I just can’t believe you don’t love Eva… I was quite certain that you would LOVE her! I think I love her.

 Malebox

 I love Eva a bit…but she is no Myrna though

Samantha

Only a bit? Seriously? You do love those dirty girls.

Malebox

Yeah I do…I think I need Myrna, Eva and Ana lined up and we could have try outs…

Samantha

Oh good idea! I will distract the boys while you have try outs.

Malebox

Good thinking…after tryouts we can all have one big party…

Samantha

Totally. I will ask Carey and Trey…..

Malebox

a’s friend Kate can also come..

Samantha

Hahaha! I knew that was coming! You are so cute!

Malebox

    Check your email….

So my good pal Malebox sent me a very dirty picture representing what the “after party” would look like.  I can’t put it on the blog, so it has been recreated using candy J

 

NB:   The Sequel to Bared To You – Reflected In You by Sylvia Day will be released 2nd October 2012

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